hikaricloud

My car died last night.

My stepdad was running a compression test to see how much longer the engine would hold out...checking the cylinders and the valves and such. After the test, he put it all back together...and she wouldn't start. Would turn, but not ignite.

After a while of trying to figure out what's going on...we checked the spark plugs...they weren't sparking.

They were new spark plugs.

This morning, the final verdict was the coil died. A new coil is 130 dollars. Plus whatever ungodly labor rate to put it in.

Plus the tires I need to put on. Plus the CV joint I need to replace. Plus the wheel alignment. Plus the valve cover gasket to fix the oil leak. Plus the gas filter.

All of that equals out to be around 600 dollars. And according to my stepfather, one of the valves is low and the car will die sooner or later anyway, but it won't last much longer.

So...thus is the end of my car.

She really looks so lonely, sitting in the garage...no longer will I go on road trips with her, no longer will I race through the rolling hills of this backwater state, nor will I push her to her limits to get to work on time...those days are gone.

And I will really miss them.

I don't understand why I am so upset over my car being dead...but...I really love that car. She was my baby for three years, and my first. I hate seeing her crippled, unable to go anywhere...she retired early in life, and I hate seeing her like this. It's unbearable.

Rest in peace, my love. I will never forget you, nor the times we shared.

1991 Eagle Summit; "Rem"
142k~ miles
Bumper stickers everywhere.
Came into my life in June of 2004...
Left my world on April of 2007...

I feel like a member of my family just died.




<sub>Chances are you've heard this
But your headphones mute your equilibrium
Hearing tests the mattress hit the mistress fooled
But nothing ever felt this good

Wake you up and shake you
But your motor skills still speak in slurs

Court jester don't kill the humor
Court jester don't kill the humor

Chances are you've cursed this
The volume of the speakers must be proud

Don't change your tune
A princess' work is never done
In the bed and breakfast beck and call

Wake you up and shake you
But your motor skills still speak in slurs

Court jester don't kill the humor
Court jester don't kill the humor
Eeyor chase your own
Eeyor chase your own
Court jester don't kill the humor
Court jester don't kill the humor

Brown shirt italian cut
Goose step and call our bluff
Will your ears ring the tetinitus chorus goes
Will the decibels work as bifocals
Will the decibels work as bifocals

Chances are you've heard this
Chances are you've curved this again
Don't change your tune
In hearing tests again

Court jester don't kill the humor
Court jester don't kill the humor
Court jester don't kill the humor
Eeyor chase your own
Eeyor chase your own
Court jester don't kill the humor

Brown shirt italian cut
Goose step and call our bluff
Will your ears ring the tetinitus chorus goes
Will the decibels work as bifocals
Will the decibels work as bifocals

Brown shirt italian cut
Goose step and call our bluff
Goose step and call our bluff

Chances are you've heard this
Chances are you've cursed this again...</sub>








---------------------------


I adopted a cute lil' emo fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!

-----------------
R.I.P. Robbie Long
-----------------
R.I.P. Kaitlyn Dante
-----------------
R.I.P. Mike Baldoni
-----------------

Short, simple update.

I'm single again.

But, in the end, it was probably for the better. I can only bend so far until I'm broken.

Been really busy. been busy working, writing, and making plans to record some tracks for my new myspace music page, and working on finishing my album. Wish me luck.

I'll be around...maybe. <3




<sub>Chances are you've heard this
But your headphones mute your equilibrium
Hearing tests the mattress hit the mistress fooled
But nothing ever felt this good

Wake you up and shake you
But your motor skills still speak in slurs

Court jester don't kill the humor
Court jester don't kill the humor

Chances are you've cursed this
The volume of the speakers must be proud

Don't change your tune
A princess' work is never done
In the bed and breakfast beck and call

Wake you up and shake you
But your motor skills still speak in slurs

Court jester don't kill the humor
Court jester don't kill the humor
Eeyor chase your own
Eeyor chase your own
Court jester don't kill the humor
Court jester don't kill the humor

Brown shirt italian cut
Goose step and call our bluff
Will your ears ring the tetinitus chorus goes
Will the decibels work as bifocals
Will the decibels work as bifocals

Chances are you've heard this
Chances are you've curved this again
Don't change your tune
In hearing tests again

Court jester don't kill the humor
Court jester don't kill the humor
Court jester don't kill the humor
Eeyor chase your own
Eeyor chase your own
Court jester don't kill the humor

Brown shirt italian cut
Goose step and call our bluff
Will your ears ring the tetinitus chorus goes
Will the decibels work as bifocals
Will the decibels work as bifocals

Brown shirt italian cut
Goose step and call our bluff
Goose step and call our bluff

Chances are you've heard this
Chances are you've cursed this again...</sub>








---------------------------


I adopted a cute lil' emo fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!

-----------------
R.I.P. Robbie Long
-----------------
R.I.P. Kaitlyn Dante
-----------------
R.I.P. Mike Baldoni
-----------------

I gots me a girlie.

*awaits the barrage of OMG WTFs*

Her name is Leesha. And she's awesome. :] And I'm gonna go and see her on Wednesday, weather permitting.

It's nice to be happy again. And also nice to finally have a valentine after never having one...ever. xP Even though I still think v-day is full of bullshit commercialism and every day should be special but...I guess I could set aside my cynicism for ONCE...maybe.

The sun is finally starting to peek over the horizon. <3




<sub>I'll be the grapes fermented,
Bottled and served, with the table set
In my finest suit, like a perfect gentleman...

I'll be the fire escape
That's bolted to the ancient brick,
Where you will sit and contemplate your day...

I'll be the waterwings
That save you if you start drowning
In an open tab when your judgement's on the brink...

I'll be the phonograph
That plays your favorite albums back,
As you're lying there, drifting off to sleep...

I'll be the platform shoes,
Undo what heredity's done to you,
You won't have to strain to look into my eyes...

I'll be your winter coat,
Buttoned and zipped straight to the throat,
With the collar up so you won't catch cold...

I want to take you far...
From the cynics in this town...
And kiss you on the mouth...
We'll cut our bodies free
From the tethers of this scene...
Start a brand new colony...
Where everything will change...
We'll give ourselves new names...
[identitieserased]
The sun will heat the ground
Under our bare feet...
In this brand new colony...

Everything will change...</sub>








---------------------------


I adopted a cute lil' emo fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!

-----------------
R.I.P. Robbie Long
-----------------
R.I.P. Kaitlyn Dante
-----------------
R.I.P. Mike Baldoni
-----------------

So...life's been a tad odd lately.

Kickin' her to the curb in my mind. w00t. Progress, progress.

So many weird, messed up things have been popping up in my life lately, and I'm trying to sort them all out, with only minor success. To be honest, even if I wanted to list them all here, I probably couldn't. Too jumbled.

But, in the everyday life front, I'm working towards getting some kickass computer technical job that I'd have to drive 1 1/2 hours to every morning, and drive 1 1/2 hours home every day or so. But the pay is great. The least I could make is 18 bucks an hour, and I'm probably gonna start higher, depending on what company I go to. My current boss, the computer shop owner, tells me that with my technical skill, I could be making 45 bucks an hour...but I have to work in the business and start at the bottom first.

Which means I need a new car. My car can't handle that kinda commute every day.

So, Kelsey's stepdad (who owns a body shop) found a 2002 VW Jetta GTi, and he's looking into getting it and fixing it up for me. I can't wait.

Emotional stress is making me lose more hair every day. Thankfully, you can't tell unless you're in the shower with me lolz. Thank God for having such hugely thick hair.

Go read my new song. It will boggle your fucking minds. It sure did mine.

<3




<sub>I show the scars
Of every fear and doubt
I hurt myself
To let the darkness out
Out...

The days go...bye...
And nothing brings me joy
The glow was strong
When i was a boy
But it's gone

And the glow...
It goes...
So slow...
It goes...

Cracks appear,
And passion slips away...
Colors fade,
And turn to shades of grey.
Fade away...

And the glow...
It goes...
So slow...
It goes...

If you knew the man I used to be,
Please hold me under the sea...
Or scratch my arms until they bleed,
Save me...
Will you help me to feel the glow...?</sub>








---------------------------


I adopted a cute lil' emo fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!

-----------------
R.I.P. Robbie Long
-----------------
R.I.P. Kaitlyn Dante
-----------------
R.I.P. Mike Baldoni
-----------------

So the heavy weight that was on my heart has lifted...somewhat. I can see a bit of a future ahead, though I know not where it will take me. While a part of me will always look back and sigh, the rest of me is going to try to plow ahead. It's not fair to me, nor any of my friends to keep living like this. So, I finally made a decision that I'll stay alive, and finally try to live my life without the restraints that have been holding me back.

Sorry to all of you who have actually put up with me these past few years. I'll get better now, hopefully. I'll try, and that's a promise.

Here's to starting life anew.

Sorry to keep you all waiting.




<sub>I'll write you a song and it won't be hard to sing,
It will be a natural anthem, familiar it will seem...
It will rally all the workers on strike for better pay,
And its chorus will resound and boost morale throughout the day...

I'll write you a song and I hope that you won't mind,
Because all the names and places I have taken from your life...
So please don't be upset at this portrait that I paint,
It may be a little biased, but at least I spelled your name right...</sub>








---------------------------


I adopted a cute lil' emo fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!

-----------------
R.I.P. Robbie Long
-----------------
R.I.P. Kaitlyn Dante
-----------------
R.I.P. Mike Baldoni
-----------------